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Deer Slayer's picture
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: Dover, Tuscarawas County Ohio.
Joined: 08/10/2010
Posts: 408
Two Days In The Life Of A Deer Hunter

Morning: 1:00 AM: Alarm clock rings. 2:00 AM: Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. 2:30 AM: Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup. 3:00 AM: Leave for deep woods. 3:15 AM: Drive back home to pick up gun. 3:30 AM: Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 AM: Set up camp. Forgot the stupid tent. 4:30 AM: Head for the woods. 6:05 AM: See eight deer. 6:06 AM: Take aim and squeeze trigger. 6:07 AM: CLICK. 6:08 AM: Load gun while watching deer go over hill. 8:00 AM: Head back to camp. 9:00 AM: Still looking for camp. 10:00 AM: Realize that you don't know where camp is.

Afternoon: Fire gun for help---eat wild berries. 2:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back. 2:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach. 2:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries. 2:45 PM: Rescued. 2:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw up instead. 3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp. 3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 PM: Load gun---leave camp again.

Evening: 5:00 PM: Empty gun on bug that is bugging you. 6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing. 6:01 PM: Load gun. 6:02 PM: Fire gun. 6:03 PM: One dead pickup. 6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer. 6:06 PM: Repress desire to shoot hunting partners. 6:07 PM: Fall into fire. 6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones in fire. 6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in camp. 6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block. 6:26 PM: Start walking. 6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 PM: Meet bear. 6:36 PM: Take aim. 6:37 PM: Fire gun, blow up barrel that's plugged with mud. 6:38 PM: Mess pants. 6:39 PM: Climb tree. 11:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap gun around tree.

Midnight: Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.

Next day: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to Game Warden.

jaybe's picture
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: S.E. Michigan
Joined: 10/19/2010
Posts: 832
Deer Slayer - I sure hope

Deer Slayer - I sure hope that was just a made up funny story about all of the problems that a deer hunter can encounter. I'm thinking that if that was actually true, two other things would also be true: (1) You would not be on a hunting forum - you would be as far away from the subject as possible, and (2) you would probably be restricted to a small room with a pleasant breeze flowing through the window to keep you from being overheated in your straight-jacket! Yes

There is probably no doubt that every one of the things you mentioned in your story has happened to a deer hunter at one time or another. It's quite inconceivable, however, that they could all happen to the same person on the same two-day hunt. In fact, I doubt that they could happen to the same person in a lifetime. Well, come to think of it, they might have all happened to my uncle Lyle - now there was a guy . . . .. Never mind - that's another story. lol

Thanks for your post - it was quite entertaining, and made me appreciate all the things that haven't happened to me.


Ca_Vermonster's picture
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!Moderator
Location: San Diego, CA
Joined: 07/27/2007
Posts: 5813
:lol:  That is a really old

:lol:  That is a really old one.  I hadn't heard it in quite awhile!

Thanks for the laugh!!!!!

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