13 replies [Last post]
Location: Butte, MT
Joined: 01/02/2006
Posts: 233
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

Or maybe I just need to vent a little.

I get along great with my wife's family for the most part, but about a year ago, one of her sisters (who was married at the time), hooked up with this doofus she met on the internet, dumped her husband, and she and the internet guy moved to the same town as us. Anyway, the guy is a complete deadbeat, doesn't work, and I just don't have the slightest thing in the world in common with him. And to top it all off, my sis-in-law is 5 months pregnant... no, he still doesn't work. I don't know what the heck he does all day, but I have very little respect for the guy. He's pretty much an unproductive putz and the worst part is he seems pretty comfortable in his putz-hood.

Anyway, he saw some of the deer that my wife and I brought home this year, so his momma is buying him a .270 for Christmas because he wants to learn to hunt. So, guess who will now be expected to teach him: me. Basically, come next October, my options will be either take this moron hunting or be the A-hole bro-in-law/son-in-law. You gotta understand that one of my wife's family dynamics is that everybody in the family, married in or born in, pretends that everybody else is the greatest, most wonderful, brilliant person in the world... even if they're a deadbeat with a pregnant wife and doesn't work. That's really not how I was raised, but for the most part I can play along, to extent I guess. Anyway... advice? Words of wisdom?

I really don't want to take this guy hunting. In fact, I want to spend as little time as possible around him.

Location: Minnesota
Joined: 11/26/2007
Posts: 74
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

When was he born? maybe the state is going to require that he take a hunter's safety course before he can purchase a license. Maybe you should require him to take that course. Afterall, isn't that how it works for introducing new people to hunting? In MN, a lot of kids have to take that course as required, but then walk the woods without a gun their first year.

i think you get the idea...

saskie's picture
Location: West Carleton, Ottawa, Canada
Joined: 12/23/2002
Posts: 1264
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

For starters don't take moron to any of your A-List spots until he mans up. Made that mistake before, won't do it again.

I wouldn't count on any hunter's ed course weeding him out. Lets face it - the course isn't that hard.

Perhaps, in the interest of his hunter education, you should show the complete hunting experience the fun and the WORK that goes into it - from the sound of it he'll be doing well to drag his lazy arse out of bed in the dark and cold of early morning anyway - add in a several km hike through a nasty swamp or "the scenic route" up down a mountain two or three and he'll probably go back to the couch on his own.

Location: Aurora, CO
Joined: 09/01/2009
Posts: 29
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

I'd insist he take a hunter ed course and demonstrate his proficiency wiyh his rifle. Then I'd wait until the coldest nastiest day of the hunting season and put him in a treestand all day. If he endures that and wants to go again, maybe that will be a step toward him turning things around.

numbnutz's picture
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: portland,oregon
Joined: 09/06/2007
Posts: 3058
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

I'm the A-hole brother-in-law/son-in-law. My wifes family is the same way. and my wiles sister is engaged to a tool and they wanted me to take him hunting with me and I flat out refused.

Location: Kingston, MI
Joined: 01/16/2007
Posts: 592
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

I was once in a similar situation with a stupid, know-it-all, loud mouth, lazy, good-for-nothing jerk. I just sat the guy down for a man to man conversation. I told him I didn't like him and would not be taking him hunting, fishing or anything else. I explained that I would not be rude to him around others and expected him to keep our conversation to himself for the sake of the family getting along.

It actually worked out quite well, because we rarely speak to each other and he does his best to avoid me. It's just the way I like it.

Location: Butte, MT
Joined: 01/02/2006
Posts: 233
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

Thanks for the comments. I didnt' think about the hunter safety course, but I'm sure that applies to him, he's about 25 I think. When hunting comes up, I'll tell him he needs to look into it.

I guess I can give him a chance if he completes hunter safety and shows me he can opperate a rifle safely (accurately... I don't really care so much as safely). The first time he sweeps my torso, I'm gonna send him packing.

Location: Selkirk, MB
Joined: 02/02/2007
Posts: 4
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

She hooked up with him, not you! He wouldn't be hunting with me that's for sure!

WesternHunter's picture
Joined: 05/05/2006
Posts: 2374
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

As hard as it may be, do this. You may not like what I'm about to say. Just bear with me for a second on this one.

Spend some time with him, in fact spend a lot of time with him for a couple weeks, but no more than a month. Do it now, soon, well before next years hunting season. Try and teach him a few things, it can be anything at first just not guns or hunting. Try and mentor him without really being what he sees as a mentor. Have him help you with some tasks or projects that you may have around your house. Work on a car together some afternoon or something similar. Put him in a situation where he will either pass or fail, something where he needs to prove himself without you having too much to lose. Before you think I'm crazy here, doing this stuff is all a TEST for him.

If he really is what you think of him, and drives you nuts or screws up big time, then you will have a real legitimate excuse to your wifes family why you don't and should not have to take him hunting.

If he passes and impresses you, then maybe you'll have good reason to change your opinion of him.

Just try it. How someone assist you and how they perform when you are working on a task together really speaks volumes about what kind of hunting partner that person will be. But the key here is don't let anyone know you are testing him.

CVC's picture
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: Kansas
Joined: 03/04/2006
Posts: 3579
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

How about waiting until season is over this year and take him out for some scouting? Make him get up early and go out in the cold to scout some areas that you'll hunt next year. Make him work for the opportunity to hunt and as Westernhunter said, teach him some things too.

You should be able to get a sense of his committment and ability. No scouting no hunting.

HeavyC's picture
Location: Greeley, CO
Joined: 07/19/2008
Posts: 635
A little help, advice, encouragement, or something...

I am kinda mixed with the last two suggestions. Make him earn it all. Take him out and start working for it hard! Early as possible and long and hard a hike as possible, etc... Spend some time proving to him how hard of work it really is. W/o pissing your wife off and spending too much that you cannot afford. Plan some hunts that are stretch for you and require gear or other costs that show to him and your sister that he needs to pick up his end of the bargain. Make a list of things that are needed for a hunt and split them up with a deadline of when he is to have them by. (Hopefully his momma won't bail him out on everything though!)

Like stated before, if you being a type of father figure for him can turn him around, great!...if it turns him away, still great!

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