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Location: St. Louis County
Joined: 01/10/2006
Posts: 339
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

I would love to hear some funny deer hunting stories from all over the country. Now that its February and we're all sitting around waiting for Spring, seems like a good time to break out the tall tales.

This is one that happened to my dad...

He was crossing a stubble field one morning before dawn and heard something moving toward him in the darkness. He froze and shone his flashlight in the direction of the sounds and discovered a skunk was making his way down a row of corn stubble and was headed toward him on a direct collision course.

Not wanting to spook the little fella into spraying him, my dad slowly retreated toward the fenceline, walking backwards and keeping the light trained on the skunk.

Suddenly, he felt something brush across his shoulders and back and quickly swung the flashlight around and shone it directly into the face of a scarecrow!

He told me he nearly had a heart attack right there on the spot. He didn't say if he had to walk back to the truck and change his pants....

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

The closest I think I can come is the time when I was in college in Montana and went out for mulies with two other guys. Nobody had a truck, so we wound up gingerly coaxing my Honda Accord hatchback up miles of rutted and rocky logging road. Mind you, this type of thing doesn't seem so strange when you're 21. We spent the day hunting and I got my deer at dusk. We drug it half a mile back to the car to discover a flat tire.

The only problem was that we only had one of those little donut spare tires. Combine that with the weight of three big guys and a deer hanging out of the back hatch, and you don't have nearly as much ground clearance going out as what you had coming in. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, the snow started to fall. We creeped, bumped, scraped, and ground our way down several miles of rutted logging road before making it to the highway. From that point things were smooth, but the donut restricted our speed considerably. It took us a couple hours to get home from that point, and of course we had to keep the front windows open to avoid sucking exhaust in through the partially opened hatch. So there we were...three shivering hunters driving a 3-legged car down the highway at night during a snowfall with the windows opened and deer hooves hanging out from under an open hatch tied to the bumper with rope. It was basically like that part in "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" where Steve Martin and John Candy are driving down the highway in their burned out shell of a rental car, singing "Blue Moon of Kentucky."

But at least I got the deer. The experience was about as ghetto as it gets, but any embarrassment I felt evaporated with my first pot of venison chili. I've been a truck man ever since.

Location: Northeast Pennsylvania
Joined: 02/11/2006
Posts: 85
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

haha, those are great.

Here is one of mine.....when I first got into archery hunting I scouted out this valley that had grapevines and beaten down deer trails everywhere...seemed like a great spot....I didn't have a treestand at the time...so I found this very huge old tree and it had a root sticking up that made a makeshift seat...so early in the morning I made my way to my big tree and along the way I was spraying vanilla scent around........well right around 9am...I'm just sitting there minding my own business....keeping my ears and eyes wide open and watching the trails in and out of the grape vines.......so, as I'm listening and watching straight ahead...I hear the tiniest little crackle in the leaves right over my left shoulder on the side of the tree....being that the sound was so close I kinda turned my head real quick........I was face to face with a giant doe....and when I mean face to face...I mean I literally kissed this doe right on the lips.....as soon as I turned my head....the deer and I both jumped about 20 feet in the air.......the doe took off running with two other doe up the hill. I could not believe that I literally had a doe on top of me and didn't even hear her come in till the last second....she literally walked right up behind the tree and peeked around right in my face....was completely unbelievable! I'll never forget it! To make things even more ironic...the doe stopped, turned around and stomped towards me and I was so shooken up that I managed to shoot twice and miss both times...the first shot was at 20yds. and she jumped during the release and it shot under her chest the second shot was around 50 yds. and I shot high.....very wild and funny hunt!

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

Sounds like you had a Homer Simpson moment -- "Doe!"

I do have another story about a guy in our hunt party when I was growing up whose idea of visibility was to wear a white hat into the woods on a deer drive one day. But Illinois Dave specifically said "funny" stories, and that wasn't so funny -- more like an almost Darwin Award.

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Location: St. Louis County
Joined: 01/10/2006
Posts: 339
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

...and I've got an almost funny story about my uncle missing a doe and hitting a mobile home...

Love your stories, those are great. Let's hear some more, guys.

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Location: Western North Carolina
Joined: 02/27/2006
Posts: 1
Here's the bear facts!

I was bowhunting in a stand overlooking a great trail when a really large black bear came down the trail. At first it was just cool to get to see the bear so close up. The bear kept inching my way while tearing up a log for grubs and when it got to about twenty yards away I started to get a little nervous. Just when my nerves were about shot a large doe came bounding over the ridge and upon seeing the bear slid to a dead stop at thirty yards. I was at full draw before she even stopped but due to my all ready excited state, I missed. The bear took off one way - the deer the other, then the doe stopped and decided she would backtack, again at thirty yards I missed! This had her a bit confused so she took off again but decided to stop and check things out at about forty yards on the backside of my tree, for the third time I missed!!!! The funny thing is that when I calmed down I decided to retrieve my arrows and looked up to see this doe again just standing there looking at me at about forty yards, I just picked up my arrow and headed for the truck cause some days everything just goes wrong!

Location: Northeast Pennsylvania
Joined: 02/11/2006
Posts: 85
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

haha, sounds like that was a pretty wild day!

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Location: Central Virginia
Joined: 09/10/2003
Posts: 34
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

Here's one from a few years ago...I was blackpowder hunting in Virginia and decided to stand against this tree and watch through a fork in the trunk. After about an hour, I see this small buck heading my way. I ease up the rifle and wait for a broadside shot. I'm watching the buck from about 60 yards away while I wait for him to turn. He is then at 40 yards and still heading straight for me. There was no way that I wanted to put a 300 gr hollow-point through the length of a deer (talk about messy) so I kept waiting and watching. At about t30 yards, he was starting to fill up the scope pretty good, so I kept opening my other eye to keep track of him. At 20 yards, I started to get a bit nervous...how could I move the rifle left or right while its between the fork of this tree without spooking the buck? I started to ease straight backward to gain clearance from the end of the barrel while keeping it beaded on the buck. At 10 yards I had the barrel just about even with the trunk of the tree, but was now standing on one foot and leaning back so far that I couldn't lean back any further. So here I am, perched in the yoga pose while drawn down on a buck that is still walking straight towards me. A 7 yards the buck turns (He really didn't have much choice, he had to turn or walk over me..literally!). As soon as he did, Bang! Bang! Now I know what your thinking "FJ, your hunting with a muzzleloader. Where did the to other 'Bang' come from?" Well, my friends the other bang was my A$$ hitting the ground after I squeezed the trigger. I was so off balance that I couldn't even absorb the recoil. As for the buck , he ran 40 yards and dropped dead. As for me, I took a lot of slack back a the hunting camp, but there was only one deer hangin' that night, so I took it all with a grin.

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Location: Missouri/Arkansas
Joined: 08/21/2003
Posts: 891
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

I was out bowhunting back in September and I had drank a whole bottle of Maker's Mark and then I found a copperhead on the road leading back up to my house, and I poured some Smirnoff Ice on the ground because I was trying to get the snake drunk, but he wouldn't take any. I left the bottle outside and the next day I came out and there were yellowjackets crawling around in the Smirnoff Ice bottle. They got drunk and couldn't fly out!!!

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Location: St. Louis County
Joined: 01/10/2006
Posts: 339
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

Do I hear banjo music??

saskie's picture
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Moderator
Location: West Carleton, Ottawa, Canada
Joined: 12/23/2002
Posts: 1264
Your Funniest Hunting Stories.....

This is secondhand, but I can't believe anyone would admit to this if it wasn't true:

My father-in-law and his brother have definitely reached the "mellowed-out" stage of deer hunting. They've done their time, paid their dues so now they go up to camp but only hunt if and when they feel like it. There are several hunt camps in the area, and we have our share of old school hunters who say that the only place to shoot a deer is in the head, and if you can't make that shot you have no business hunting. Naturally that debate is one of many predictable campfire arguments (suprisingly calibre is not much of an issue in our neck of the woods) Anyway - whenever the "shot placement" argument comes up around the camp, this is his answer

It was a gorgeous, late fall morning and he was hunting from a permanent stand (basically a small tree house) he built overlooking a valley (right) and cut line (left-centre). It's been pretty good to him over the years. Sheltered from the wind, with the warm sun on his face and digesting a "hunter's breakfast" he was soon fast asleep. Now this stand might have been comfortable, but it was a bit cramped so he left his daypack (and lunch) on the ground below him. A while later a he was awakened by a strange crunching noise behind him, very close. He carefully turned to peek out the door of the stand...nothing. Now the noise seemed to be in front...he peeked out the window and looked down to see the tail of a deer directly below the floor of his stand, eating his lunch.

(this deer definitely had a death wish) lol

He waited and waited but still all he could see was the tail - and the deer wasn't moving, and his lunch was fast dwindling. Eventually he discovered that through a crack in the floor boards he could see the deer's neck - enough to see that it was in fact a small buck (no doe tags that year) - and enough to stick the gun barrel through. He sighted along the side of the barrel (he was only a couple feet from the deer - the stand is 10' off the ground) and fired hitting the deer at the base of the neck in front of the shoulder blades.

He highly reccomends this particular shot placement - the deer drops where it's hit, dies instantly, bleeds out like it was stuck by butcher and not a scrap of usable meat wasted.

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