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expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

It's this kind of hooliganism that our government must control. We need federal laws to:

- Stop grocers from marketing potatoes that explode

- Restrict potatoes greater than 1 inch in diameter to military use only

- Limit potato purchases

- Require a license to purchase hair spray and propane

- Require that barbecue ignitors microstamp anything within sparking range

- Require plumbing supply stores to record every purchase of PVC pipe and report it to the BATF

- Require homeowners to store their potatoes in childproof, locking cabinets

- Enact school-based programs to de-glorify potatoes and reduce the culture of violence surrounding them

- Outlaw hate crimes against ice cream truck drivers

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Joined: 07/30/2007
Posts: 635
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

You had to mention the ice cream guy. Shame on You!

Restricting potatoe size? That is a clear violation of our constitutional rights. There is no way that is going to stand in the supreme court. You're way over board with your remarks Expat. You're clearly leaning off center, and are more concerned with controlling the price of voldka over freedom as potatoe size will most likely have an effect in production. I'd almost go as far as to say you might have ownership stakes in one of the big voldka companies. This is why people need to support the National Spud Association. NSA. Membership is cheap, they continuously fight for our right to keep and bear potatoe guns and voldka, and their gift shop is cool. Thumbs up

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Moderator
Location: Florida,USA
Joined: 08/21/2003
Posts: 1566
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

Shazam!!! I have figured it all out !!!

After reading the various posts concerning potatoes, olives and potatoe guns and all the implications that the shortage and regulation may cause I started to seriously ponder this phenomenon.
I started by studying outlying ideals and certain causes and effects.
So I started putting 2 and 2 together but came up with (-27 trillion).
Over and over again same 2 and 2 and same answer. How can that be?
After 7 hours of constant ciphering I finally broke out my most massive computing machine, yes I did.......the Ultra-sonic, micro-bionic combination ciphering/Hot air popcorn popper machine.
I fed in the same 2 and 2 and after 42 bowls of perfect popcorn still the same answer, (-27 trillion)
I was miffed.
So I logged back on to ruffle thru all the post again when I saw it and the light came on and I swear i heard music.
cowgal unwittingly provided the answer.
The US Department of Energy
$24.2 billion dollars a year to Lessen our dependence on foreign oil???
Obviously that's not what the money is being used for.
Only a Government Agency can make 2 and 2 equal (-27 trillion).
But why? What purpose does hording all the potatoes, destroying the Martini and Olive market, which by the way will also ruin the Pizza industry with no black olives for the meat-lovers pizzas.
Is it the Potatoe Gun?
Look fellas I have gotten this far with this massive conspiracy and I am pretty sure my computer was being hacked by Black Suited Government spy type people last night so I am trusting in you to follow my lead in this investigation to try and determine whats up in the US Dept. Of Energy and these high potatoe prices........

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Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Joined: 11/06/2005
Posts: 24
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

Hah! While hard on vodka, the great potato wars of 1914 - 1918 and 1939 - 1945 didn't really stop any supplies of Bombay Sapphire gin, (which makes the best martinis) from getting through. I've been out in the field stuck in the snow on New Year's Eve drinking moonshine out of jars but I just can't learn to appreciate domestic vodka. I stopped drinking Moskovskaya for 10 years when Russia invaded Afghanistan in '78 and didn't start again until the troops were withdrawn. I was glad to do my part in those difficult times but couldn't make the greater sacrifice of switching to Smirnoff. It's fine for mixing with orange juice but shouldn't even be considered for martinis.
The poem I composed that night in the field was:
Christmas comes but once a year
You push, I'll steer

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

Oh...I forgot to mention closing the farmer's market loophole. Potatoes need to be sold through a licensed grocer, and not simply passed across a folding table with no questions asked.

It's OK, because I don't buy raw potatoes.

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Location: Florida,USA
Joined: 08/21/2003
Posts: 1566
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

Not sure I was with you in that field that night buzzbomb, but I do seem to vaguely recall such a poem.

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Location: California
Joined: 09/06/2008
Posts: 1071
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?
Quote:
Buzzbomb wrote,
the great potato wars of 1914 - 1918 and 1939 - 1945 didn't really stop any supplies of Bombay Sapphire gin, (which makes the best martinis) from getting through.

Bombay is fine if your out of good vodka. Smirnoff is NOT vodka but a cheap immitation fit only for use as emergency lantern fuel. As far as potato control goes I have no fear as Obama will be far too busy with other issues to infringe on my constitutional gastrointestinal rights to bear produce. What I do worry about is possible abuses of power by the BATF (bureau of all those frenchfries)which regulates spud usage. As I do not own an a salt weapon type of spud thrower I am confidant all the spud throwers in MY spudsafe will be ok four years from now!

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Joined: 07/30/2007
Posts: 635
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

JTapia, now you've got my blood boiling! I was eating pizza when I read your post! I never thought of the pizza market being effected.

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Location: California
Joined: 09/06/2008
Posts: 1071
Why no Vietnam Vet Presidents?

Mmmmmm!!! Pizza!!!!!

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