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Don Fischer's picture
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Texas A&M scouting report

Subject: 2008 Texas A & M Football Scouting Report

Well folks, it arrived.....the 2008Texas A & M football scouting report!

Wayfron P. Jackson: 6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from

Texas in the last ten years. Loves rap music. Will demand a mini- cassette in

his helmet. Currently holds world record for the most "you knows" during an

interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron can print his complete name.

Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6' 3", 220 lbs.. Running Back. Set state

scoring record out of TritonHigh School, Dunn, N.C. Also led the

state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked

at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.

Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Tyler,

Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well.

Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change

colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red

brick."

Woodrow Lee Washington: 6' 8", 310 lbs Tackle. From a 4th generation

welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims

Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter

trial pending but feels he will be found innocent because: "The dude said

something bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his

I.Q. as 20-20.

Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an

Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks the "N"

on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still meets this

school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing number 32 jersey

since it matches his SAT score.

Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending

paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9

victims will file charges. Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six

other colleges but was also willing to sign with us. Likes wild women and red Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.

Abdul Hashish Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the

name Sylvester LeRoy Jones until he discovered religion. Abdul thinks Sherlock

Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville. Doesn't know the meaning of the

word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words, either.)

Note: College track coaches intend to use several of the above signees

in their track programs. However, instead of using a starting gun at track

meets, the NCAA has now agreed to use a burglar alarm....this, they hope, will

keep the runners alert

redrider's picture
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Texas A&M scouting report

Yes
I'll bet at least 3/4 of that is actually true Big smile

Don Fischer's picture
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Texas A&M scouting report

Yes

America's future in the hands of colledge sport's!

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Texas A&M scouting report

as a former college athlete, you don't even wanna know....... eye roll

Don Fischer's picture
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Texas A&M scouting report

I don';t think their all that way. does the name Anthony Davis ring a bell? Maybe not for some as it was a long tome ago. The starting tail back on a Johnny McKay USC team. The only thing that kept him fron the Heisman was a guy named Eric Dickerson. I still think Anthony should have got it. He passed up multi million dollar contracts to use his education in business. Best I can recall he said, "I came to colledge for an education, not to play football"! He's still one of my hero's today!

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Texas A&M scouting report

you're right Don, not all of us are that way; but man have i got some stories Shame on You!

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Texas A&M scouting report

Now that's the kind of role model these kids need Yes

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