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expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
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Stupid Dog Stories

I'm curious if anybody out there had/has a dog stupider than the one I once had.

When I was a teen living on a farm in Minnesota, a stray Black Lab/St. Bernard cross (BIG dog) adopted us. He was friendly enough, but had a nasty habit of chasing cars. Only problem was that the cars he chased were going by at 60 mph on the highway in front of the house. Nothing would stop him from his all day, every day pastime, and he wore a path between the trees and the road.

One winter morning he finally caught one. We noticed his jaw was hanging a little funny and he was bleeding a bit, and the reason why became apparent when the owner of the car (a lawyer, unfortunately) stopped by and threatened to sue for damages because our dog hit his car. Apparently the dog had figured out how to lead his targets, and had stolen the left front hubcap with his teeth at high speed. Dad just laughed at the lawyer, and that was the last we saw of him. From that time on, though, the dog was tied on a long chain. If you released him, he'd instantly make a beeline for the highway and chase cars until he was too exhausted to elude capture.

Confinement didn't stop the stupidity, though. About a year or so later we found him dead. He'd wound himself around his tree so tight that he strangled himself -- too dumb to back up or go the other way. His loss was tragic, but at least he didn't reproduce and screw up the gene pool.

bitmasher's picture
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Stupid Dog Stories

Jeez...what a moronic dog, probably loved every bit of the chase too... I'm sure you were crushed, when it strangled on its own stupidity.

I've got some stupid dog stories, not sure if I'm going to be able to top that one though...

cob
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Location: Texas panhandle
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Stupid Dog Stories

One of my friends had a pretty stupid dog one time. He also chased cars. It appeared he didn't want to catch them though, he would time it just right and run right behind the back wheels. Every time you drove by you thought he was going to run right under the car. This went on for a while and his timing got better and better until one day another friend was driving by pulling a trailer. Guess the dog just didn't realize the trailer was there. fortunatly/unfortunatly, he didn't get a chance to mess up the gene pool either.

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Location: pennsylvania
Joined: 10/11/2002
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Stupid Dog Stories

I personnally do not have a dog that stupid. My sister does though. I was messing around with the dog when my niece came out and showed me her lazer pointer. I took it and began to tease the dog and the dog loved it. I started on the floor and then the wall. The whole prblem was that the dog did not jump at the wall. the one time I left the light sitting on the wall right a nose level the dog lunged and consequently put his head through the dry-wall. Fortunately the dog is still alive and yes he is also fixed so he can't make anymore stupid dogs.

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
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Stupid Dog Stories

I think I know that dog! I had a friend that had this little black dog that would do the same thing with a laser pointer (or flashlight). If the dog got out the door he'd run all over the neighborhood just of arm's reach, with his red-faced, thundering owner chasing him the whole way trying to catch him (maybe this should go under a "stupid owner" post). The owner finally figured out that if it was dark out all he had to do was take a flashlight outside, and the dog would chase it right into the front door.

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Joined: 11/25/2002
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Stupid Dog Stories

New to this site and i love it!! I recently read an article in a WV newspaper where a guy was out hunting pheasants with his buddies. At the conclusion of their hunt the man laid his shotgun on the ground and his stupid dog stepped on the trigger and blew a nice sized chunk out of his owners ankle.OUCH!!! The only thing I could'nt figure out was why the owner thought the dog was to blame.???

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Stupid Dog Stories

Kdill, I think this is the story your referring to, although the AP story is a bit different.

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/Midwest/10/25/offbeat.dog.shot.man.ap/

While your on CNN.com check out:

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/South/11/23/deer.store.ap/index.html

bitmasher's picture
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Stupid Dog Stories

Definitely ouch! Unfortunately the guy paid a pretty high price for forgetting to unload his gun... Sounds like he will be ok though.

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Joined: 11/15/2002
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Stupid Dog Stories

I have a dog that can not tell if the tail gate of the truck is down or up, she will run head first into it when it is up trying to jump into the back. I have checked her eyesight and as far as I can tell it is good, she can see a rabbit at 100 yards.

cob
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Location: Texas panhandle
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That's funny in a kind of sad way. you might try putting a strip of that reflective tape across the top of the tailgate so she can see more a difference from when its up and when its down.

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
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Stupid Dog Stories

I had the same thing happen with my current dog -- jumped up and smacked right into the tailgate. I think vision has nothing to do with it. I had a one-eyed dog once that had no depth perception and didn't like the jump, but had no problem figuring it out.

Aside from depth perception, there was nothing wrong with his eyesight, unfortunately. He could spot another dog a block away and it'd send him into orbit -- definitely an uncomfortable experience when you're in a Honda and a 60 lb dog in the back seat goes berserk right next to your ear.

What compounded the problem was he started doing this every time he saw a pickup truck. This was Montana, after all, and it didn't take him long to figure out that most trucks had at least one dog in the back.

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