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Location: Kingston, MI
Joined: 01/16/2007
Posts: 648
My letter to the President

Dear President Obama,

Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You know the one's down the street who in the good times refinanced their house several times and bought SUV's, ATV's, RV"s, a pool, a big screen, two Wave Runners and a Harley. I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and theirs, could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then?

They also need help with their credit cards, when do you want me to start making those payments?

I almost forgot - they didn't file their income tax return this year. Should I go ahead and file for them, or will you be appointing them to cabinet posts?

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Location: California
Joined: 09/06/2008
Posts: 1071
My letter to the President

Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh

CVC
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Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: Kansas
Joined: 03/04/2006
Posts: 3586
Re: My letter to the President
Whelland wrote:
Dear President Obama,

Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You know the one's down the street who in the good times refinanced their house several times and bought SUV's, ATV's, RV"s, a pool, a big screen, two Wave Runners and a Harley. I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and theirs, could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then?

They also need help with their credit cards, when do you want me to start making those payments?

I almost forgot - they didn't file their income tax return this year. Should I go ahead and file for them, or will you be appointing them to cabinet posts?

Ok, I'll bite. Which cabinet nominee do you live next to?

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Location: Florida,USA
Joined: 08/21/2003
Posts: 1566
My letter to the President

It is looking like the Secretary Of The Treasury may be coming open soon.

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Location: California
Joined: 09/06/2008
Posts: 1071
My letter to the President

So many people out of work in this economy. The trouble is their all presidential cabinet appointees.

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Joined: 07/29/2008
Posts: 723
My letter to the President

Dear Mr. Whelland,

First of all thanks for writing, always nice to hear from the American People. I don’t know if you are aware but I’ve set up a way for you to contact me more directly at http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/ . I read and respond to a few of the letters there every week, and all of them get read by a staff member.

It’s heartening to see that you are concerned about your neighbor’s financial well being. The strength and cohesiveness of our communities is even more important when times are difficult as these times truly are. We really are our brothers keeper.

I do think you yourself might qualify to take advantage of the same refinancing option that your neighbor did so I’ll explain what we did for him to you. I know it seems as if your neighbor Bubba was reckless in his borrowing, and he was, we couldn’t help him there. What we did help him to do was to lower the interest rate on his loan. He had always intended to refinance after he had established a good loan history, and indeed he’s never been late, but because his home is now worth less than what he paid for it he didn’t qualify to refinance.

Bubba is a good risk, always on time and if you notice that good union job pays pretty well, but that 5 year ARM was killing him, the amount of interest he was paying doubled. Now he’s back down to 6 % and he can easily make his payments. Not that many people qualify for our assistance, you have to be able to pay for your house already but because of the housing bust been caught in a bind. To find out if you qualify take a look at our web site at http://www.makinghomeaffordable.gov/ .

The only people we actually give money to are bankers, and the only reason they get free money is because they are rich Republicans. When we do give them money we don’t piddle around with a few billion here or there, we think big, but that’s another story.

Your Prez O’bama

PS I really am going to come take your gunz, if you have a bolt action 223, a 410 shotgun, or a large caliber revolver best leave them safe with my homeboy civet cat.

PPS By the powers left to me by 43 I can look at any record I want, your neighbors did pay thier taxes just like you did. As part of the middle class you guys get taxed heaviest. Too late to shift your fortune to a Swiss Bank account of the Cayman Islands.

Location: Butte, MT
Joined: 01/02/2006
Posts: 234
My letter to the President

Isn't there some kind of law against fabricating a letter from an elected official. neener!

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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
My letter to the President

Translation:

Dear Mr. Whelland:

Thanks for writing. Next time, don't post your letter in a forum where people can see it -- send it to my website, where a staffer can pick one of several pre-canned responses to send you in a forum that others won't see. If you're lucky, I may even grant you a boon and read your letter for entertainment.

We are our brother's keeper -- in other words, if your brother screws up, you have to pay for it. If you are successful, he gets a share because the only way you could've succeeded is by oppressing the disadvantaged. It's that simple.

Yes, your neighbor screwed up by borrowing more money than he could possibly afford. As somebody who just increased the national debt by trillions of dollars, I can definitely relate. But you see, it's not your neighbor's fault that he borrowed all that money he shouldn't have. It's yours. So it's fair to take some of your hard-earned cash to protect your neighbor from the pain of his mistake.

Any resentment you feel about this should be directed at rich Republicans, because I'm the type of political leader that achieves his agenda by mob rule -- I whip a mob into an emotional state, and then unleash that energy against a particular target that I don't like. The target I've chosen for you is capitalism.

Your "Prez" (my teleprompter doesn't have spell check) Obama

P.S. By the way, my next step is to whip up anger over Mexican drug lords so I can protect your freedoms by taking away your firearms. If you have a bolt action .223, .410, or large caliber revolver, best leave them with my homeboy civet cat, because it'll be easier to collect them when I'm done collecting the others.

PPS: Remember that this is all Bush's fault, and if you resist me in any way I'll send a mob to stalk your wife and children while Bawney Fwank raids your bank account and compiles a list of your friends to destroy on a national stage.

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Joined: 07/29/2008
Posts: 723
My letter to the President

Wheland, your neighbor has made it onto youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AdGl8zW34A

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
My letter to the President

Civet, your leader has made it into encyclopedias:

http://www.encyclomedia.com/video-joseph_stalin.html

CVC
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Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: Kansas
Joined: 03/04/2006
Posts: 3586
My letter to the President
Sage of the Sage wrote:
Isn't there some kind of law against fabricating a letter from an elected official. neener!

It is what he does best - fabricate. He fabricates whether it is a letter from the president, a quote from me or just "facts."

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