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cowgal's picture
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Joined: 03/10/2002
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Letter from Grandpa

I received the following via email, don't know who the author is. Was going to post in the joke section, but its not funny.

_______________________________________________________

Letter from Grandpa

John is 63 years old and owns his own business. He is a life-long Republican and sees his dream of retiring next year is now all but gone. With the stock market crashing and all the new taxes coming his way, John knows he will be working for a good number more years.

John has a Granddaughter. Ashley is a recent college grad. She drives a late model car, wears all the latest fashions, and also likes going out and eating out a lot. Ashley campaigned hard for Obama, and after he won the election she made sure her Grandfather (and all other Republican family members) received more than an earful on how the world is going to be a much better place now that Obama won the election.

Ashley recently found herself short of cash and cannot pay her bills, again. As she has done many other times in the past, she e-mailed her Grandfather asking for some financial help. Here is his reply: "Sweetheart, I am replying to your request for more money. Ashley, you know I love you dearly and am sympathetic to your financial plight. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the election of President Obama, your Grandmother and I have had to set forth a bold new economic plan of our own....the 'Ashley Economic Plan'. Let me explain. Your grandmother and I are highly productive, wage-earning tax payers. As you know, we have lived a comfortable life and in return have forgone many things like fancy vacations, luxury cars, etc. We have worked hard and were looking forward to retiring soon. But this plan has changed. Your president is significantly raising our personal and business taxes. He says it is so he can give our hard earned money to other people. Do you know what this means, Ashley? It means less income for us. Less income means we must cut back on many business and personal expenditures. One example is, we were forced to let go of our receptionist today.

You know her. She always gave you candy when you visited my office. Did you know she worked for us for the past 18 years? I can't afford her anymore. That is a taste of the business side. Some personal economic affects of Obama's new taxation policies include none other than you. You know very well that over the years your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in cash, tuition assistance, food, housing, clothing, gifts, etc., etc. By your vote, you have chosen another family over ours for help. Judging from your Email requesting more money, I recommend you call 202-456-1111. That is the direct telephone number for the White House. You yourself repeatedly told me I was foolish to vote Republican. You said Mr. Obama is going to be the people's president and is going to help every American live a better life. Based upon everything you have told me and things we heard from him as he campaigned, I am sure Mr. Obama will be happy to send a check or transfer money into your checking account. Have him call me for the transaction and account numbers, which by now I know by heart.

Perhaps you now can understand what I have been saying for all my life: those who vote for the president should consider what the impact of an election will be on the nation as a whole, and not just be concerned with what they can get for themselves (welfare, etc.). What Obama voters don't seem to realize is all of the "government's" money he is 'redistributing' to illegal aliens and non-taxpaying Americans (deemed "less fortunate") comes from tax money collected from income tax-paying families. Remember how you told me, "Only the richest of the rich will be affected"? Guess what, honey? Because of our business, your Grandmother and I are now considered to be the richest of the rich. On paper, it might look that way. But in the real world, we are far from it. But, as you said while campaigning for Obama, some people will have to carry more of the burden so all of America can prosper. You understand what that means, right? It means that raising taxes on productive people results in them having less money. Less money for everything, including granddaughters.

Congratulations on your choice for "change". For future reference, I encourage you to attempt to add up the total value of the gifts and money you've received from us over the years, and compare it to what you expect to get over the next four years from Mr. Obama.

Remember, we love you dearly... but from now on you'll need to call the number referenced above when you need help.

Good luck,
sweetheart.

Love,

Grandpa

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Joined: 04/01/2009
Posts: 435
Letter from Grandpa

Thanks Cowgal, that was soooooo funny. I love those viral right wing emails so full of distortions and lies. Sounds like Grandpa is already afflicted with Alziemers at the age of 62.

If he was of sound mind he'd know the market is up since January 20 and no one has raised any taxes on anyone yet. Probably runs his business in a similar delusional fashion. Hope he fails. I especially love it when he cries poverty, how someone making a quarter million a year after writing off his cars and extra houses and personal trainers and aircraft and that young one he has on the side down in Nevada is beyond me.

If Grandpa had been playing it safe instead of putting his money in a casino like he does when he goes down to Vegas "on business", he would have had an even distribution between stocks, bonds, and savings like you are supposed to at 62 and he would have seen a jump in his net worth since Obama took office, like I did.

Maybe he's confusing things with the Bush crash where the market lost half it's value. What did he do with all those extra millions he got in Bush tax breaks? Keeping a younger woman in another state aint cheap! What if grandma knew!

Then of course there's always reality.

expatriate's picture
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Location: Arizona
Joined: 10/26/2002
Posts: 3207
Letter from Grandpa

Dear Grandpa:
I'm sorry to hear that you've chosen to be selfish and to deny me access to what's yours.

You see, I'm young and have needs. You're old and have lived your life, and have no need for the wealth you've acquired. There's no reason why you and grandma need that much money to live your lifestyle. In these times of economic crisis, denying that wealth to society is anti-American.

You're also woefully misinformed. President Obama hasn't raised your taxes yet. Sure, cap and trade will increase the cost of your heating oil, but it's time you catch up with the times and stop using so much of it. And yes, your dollar is going to start buying less when inflation catches up with the increase in money supply. But surely you recognize the wisdom of injecting all that money into the economy to save it.

Furthermore, you don't need that money because the government is going to see to it that you're taken care of. The new health care plan will reduce your out-of-pocket expenses and help offset your heating bill and inflation losses. Just be sure to take good care of grandma so her heart doesn't get worse. If she needs a bypass, it just might not get approved at her age. Times are tough and our society has to make tough choices -- grandma's bypass or preventive health care for a thousand needy children. It just doesn't make sense to have so many children suffer to provide a costly procedure for an individual who won't live that much longer anyway.

Finally, it's in your best interests to give me that money. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll be destitute enough to qualify for all the programs designed to benefit you.

I'm only thinking about what's best for you, Grandma, and our country.

Your loving Granddaughter,
Ashley

PS -- If possible, I'd prefer it if you would provide the money in cash, in order to avoid tax penalties.

Don Fischer's picture
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Location: Antelope, Ore
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Letter from Grandpa

Beautiful Expatriate! Absolutely beautiful!!!! I should stop in here more often. Yes

bitmasher's picture
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Joined: 02/27/2002
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Letter from Grandpa
pangolin wrote:
If he was of sound mind he'd know the market is up since January 20

Right wing chain mail might be funny, but left wing financial analysis is a hoot. Sure the market is up slightly since "January 20th". But who the hell draws the line at January 20th?

Grandpa never mind that the DJIA was around 9000 at the beginning of the year and over 11,000 a year ago! Since Obama took office the DJIA is ~300 points up, whoooopppp, whooooppp!!!! Take it to the bank Grandpa!!! Never mind the brief run to 6500 that was Bush some how messing with the market in March, its all good now.

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