This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for Chicago ...
Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him.
The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.
"What's the matter?" Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to Chicago , there are crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and a high crime rate. Not to mention crooked politicians, a lying governor, and a political machine that is worse than the Mafia!"
Jack replied, "I've lived in Chicago all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's okay, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."