The Differences between a Dog's Diary & a Cat's Diary
Entries in a Dog's Diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!
Entries in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. Must try this
on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body
in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try
to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. She speaks
with them regularly. I am certain she reports my every move. Due to
her current placement in the metal container, her safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.......