A lawyer with a huge law firm in the big city goes out to Missouri duck hunting. A duck flies over, and he shoots it but it falls across the fence on another farmer's land. He leaves his gun on his side of the fence, and walks over to retrieve his duck. The farmer sees him cross the fence and comes driving over on his tractor.
"What do you think you're doin'?", the farmers asks him.
"I shot this duck, and it fell over here, so I came to get it."
"Well, this is my land, you're trespassing, and I say you can't have that duck."
The lawyer gets mad and says, "You don't know who you're dealing with. I've got a huge law firm in the city. I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The farmer says, "Well, we're not in the city right now, and out here we handle things a little different. We use the three-kick rule out here."
"What's the three-kick rule?"
"Well, since it's my land I get to start. I get three kicks, then you get three kicks, and we go back and forth like that until one of us gives up."
The lawyer looks the farmer over and sees that he's getting up in years and figures he can take him. So he says, "All right. Let's do it."
The farmer climbs down off the tractor, walks up to the lawyer, and kicks him as hard as he can right in the groin. The lawyer grabs his groin, and falls to his knees in pain. The farmer then kicks him right in the stomach. The lawyer falls over on all fours, moaning in pain. The farmer walks around behind the lawyer and kicks him in the butt, knocking him out flat right into a mud puddle.
The lawyer gets up wiping the mud off his face, and off his clothes, looks at the farmer real grim and says, "All right, old man, now it's my turn."
The farmer says, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."