2 replies [Last post]
Ca_Vermonster's picture
Offline
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!Moderator
Location: San Diego, CA
Joined: 07/27/2007
Posts: 5813
The answering machine

THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE NEW ANSWERING SERVICE RECENTLY INSTALLED AT THE
MENTAL HEALTH INSTITUTE:

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are
obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you now.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press
- no one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star and pound
keys until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
date of birth, social security number, and your mother's
maiden name.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too
busy to talk to you.

jaybe's picture
Offline
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: S.E. Michigan
Joined: 10/19/2010
Posts: 832
Now that's funny.  I think

Now that's funny.

 I think about half them apply to me! Yes

CVC
CVC's picture
Offline
Grand Slam Challenge Winner!
Location: Kansas
Joined: 03/04/2006
Posts: 3579
Yep, that is funny.

Yep, that is funny.

Related Forum Threads You Might Like