I know...It wasn't a serious suggestion. It was just a joke.
In all honesty there isn't much more you can do sorry to say. If the local LE agencies aren't willing to act on tips, descriptions of vehicles, and even photogrpahs I think your next avenue is to make some noise with those organizations to take your tips more seriously and at least follow up on them.
Around here ATV's being off of main trails is getting to a pretty big deal. If someone calls in with a tip it's taken very seriously. In fact local agencies (I call a local branch of the forest service local) are encouraging people to call in with tips.